The Emancipation of Self Forgiveness

I know we’ve heard it all before, how important forgiveness is. Even with the constant reminder to remain forgiving, I don’t think many of us really understand that forgiveness is universal. Forgiving others is amazing and a very crucial part of the healing journey, but forgiveness of self is definitely where it’s at!

I'm not sure about everyone else but I wasn’t aware that forgiveness of self even existed. I always had such an easy time forgiving others most likely because it was pushed so hard during my upbringing in the church. Growing up and becoming aware of the parts of me that needed to be healed in order for me to have a healthy happy life, I realized that in the process of being conditioned to always forgive others, I never really practiced it on myself. When I did begin the process of self-forgiveness, I quickly realized it wasn’t as easy for me as I thought it would be.

What exactly is self-forgiveness and why is it so hard?

Self-forgiveness can be defined as giving ourselves permission to be the imperfect humans we are while deciding to intentionally accept responsibility for the times we were wrong, letting go of the emotions such as resentment, disappointment, worthlessness, and anger tied to those events and moments we weren’t living in the healing version of ourselves, and separating ourselves, the person, from the mistakes we have made

Sometimes this process is hard because of the fact that we are healing. Most of the time we’re healing from the things people have done to us, so realizing that we have in fact done to others and probably are a part of someone else’s healing journey can be a tower moment (a shock event that can be painful or hard to accept, but necessary for great change). We often feel so bad for things we have said or done that we don’t feel we deserve to be forgiven. While it is normal to feel bad for our actions that may have hurt others, we can’t go back in time and remove those moments it does no good to hold on to the negative emotions and energies that are attached to those events when you have made it your business to be a better being.

Consequences of not forgiving self

Not forgiving oneself often leads to self-sabotaging behaviors.

• Being stuck in the past unable to move forward in a healthy manner.

• Feelings of unworthiness/undeserving.

• Harsh criticism of self.

• Constantly putting yourself on the line for others.

• Manifestations of dis-ease.

Tips for the journey

Self-forgiveness like forgiveness of others is a journey within the healing journey, exercises we use along the way will more than likely need to be practiced over and over again.

Acknowledging the blockage/hurt- This entails sitting in your emotions and realizing why you feel stuck, worthless, shame, anger etc., these are typically caused by situations we haven’t let go of. Taking responsibility- This one speaks for itself, recognize that you’re not off the hook and you still have to take responsibility for your actions, this can also include apologizing if you are able to.

Humanize yourself- Inner stand and over stand that no one is perfect, we are all human and have all had our fair share of wrongdoings. The mistakes we have made were committed during a time where we lacked healing and awareness of the fact that we needed to be better. Be kind and patient with yourself as you are to others now that you’re doing the work to heal.

Accepting yourself- The mere fact of caring that you may have hurt someone speaks volumes of the heart. Don’t underestimate that!

The Benefits of Self-forgiveness

• Release of negative energy, emotions, and thoughts

• Healthier relationships

• Increase in compassion

• Genuine forgiveness of others

• Lowered risk of heart attack

• Self acceptance

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Crystal Guides

My favorite stone for this particular healing work is Rose Quartz; it’s filled with unconditional, divine loving energy that's encouraging in self-forgiveness, acceptance, and trust. Check out our collection of Rose Quartz jewelry to aid you on your journey!